im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
this hospital has no fireball
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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