Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
