so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
