yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
