google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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