we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
