Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
