apparently the secret to your success is patron
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We had to coat check the pizza.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
