We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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