New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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