She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
