ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
