I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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