I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
