We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
