Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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