His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
