i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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