Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
