as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
