i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
