why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
