Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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