she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
