I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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