There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
