Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
