What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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