I'm passing your future prison.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
