So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
