you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
