I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
