remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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