Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
