Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
