God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
too bad you live with your parents still
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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