yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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