and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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