im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
