I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Terrible idea I love it
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
