do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
