How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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