Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
