i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she woke up with a sticky ear
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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