He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
