I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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