The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
