after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
