Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
