I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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