Christians are straight up FREAKS
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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