Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
