Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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